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Post by Teᴙa253 on Jul 8, 2009 7:14:03 GMT -7
not like anyone will actually read this, but hey, I figured I might as well do something with it...
this is the "uncut" version of "The Order of the Avatar Slayer". Originally, each chapter was between 1600 and 1700 words. the "uncut" version will have more than that.
Oh, and one more thing... "uncut" makes it sound bad, but "extended" makes it sound more boring. all in all, there are just added portions that didn't make it into the original version. if there is material that was cut for other reasons, those reasons will be stated.
anyways,this is going to be released slower than my original story, because I'm not working on this as quickly. soooooo... the prologue.
PROLOGUE Water; Earth; Fire; Air; Long ago, the Four Nations lived in harmony together. That all changed with the rise of Avatar Zuroc. Spreading her malice into the world, with the attempt to take it over and rule it as her own, Zuroc’s forces were legendary. Forming a group known as the Zuroc Sensei, Avatar Zuroc’s ambition continued to grow. The fact that her predecessor had had a similar, though not as extreme, ambition only fueled it further. However, as she advanced and proceeded to conquer one place after the next, even the Earth Kingdom avatar who was Zuroc’s mentor began to realize that this was much worse than expected. The Zuroc Sensei was elite benders and/or knife throwers. Zuroc, who was a distant descendant of a Fire Nation woman named Mai, was swift, powerful, and could often land kills without even being seen. Her warriors, the Zuroc Sensei, were just like her; and although few ever made it into their ranks, numbers meant nothing, as they were powerful marauders who let nothing get in their way. She was brought back to normalcy by the 21st generation of one of the Serenes Villagers; namely Kai Serenes XXI. Her malice had spread worldwide, but her main forces were infiltrating the Northern Water Tribe, which at the time was the last stronghold on the planet. The Water Tribes were the only nation that Zuroc did not technically in her control. The Northern Capital though, had been taken, and the Southern Capital was under bombardment. It was at a small village northeast of the Northern Capital though, that Zuroc met her demise. This Kai Serenes XXI defeated Avatar Zuroc, forcing her into submission. Her troops were defeated by the rest of the villagers. Zuroc, unlike many of the past avatars, was not aware that the Serenes Villagers, the inhabitants of the village she attacked, were all incredibly powerful waterbenders. They were the ones who defeated her. The peace was supposedly restored after the power-hungry avatar yielded and attempted to repair her damage, but there remained extremists who wished to end her life and the Avatar Cycle forever. This group, still known as The Order of the Avatar Slayer, exists to this day. Although they once had a good cause, wanting to defend the world from Avatar Zuroc’s iron fist, the members who saw that Zuroc had truly repented disbanded the organization, as its purpose had been fulfilled. The extremists though, kept a little flame of war. The Avatar Guard, which was formerly Zuroc’s minions, but later became known for protecting the Avatar, was still The Order’s enemy. They remained together because The Order did. To this day, these two groups have gone on and off, neither one ever completely obliterating the other. The Avatar Cycle still goes on, but is in danger when The Order rises. This particular time though, it was different—much different. The parents of the current Avatar were unaware that their daughter was the avatar, and incidentally, they were members of The Order of the Avatar Slayer, being high-ranking extremists themselves. This was 700 years after Avatar Zuroc—there had been peace and war on and off, with some avatars doing better at protecting the world than others for whatever reasons. This time though, leadership of The Order of the Avatar Slayer fell into the hands of an ambitious warlord, who, with the right planning, had the ability to pull a stunt that was the reverse of Avatar Zuroc’s—he would rule the world, and The Avatar Cycle would end forever. The issue at hand now is that no one knows who the avatar is, for whoever he or she is, they have kept themselves well hidden... ...until now; Now the avatar must appear and muster those who still support them and go against this warlord—or the world as they know it—and the avatar cycle—could end forever.
~Azula~
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Post by Teᴙa253 on Jul 8, 2009 7:14:59 GMT -7
I'll update approximately every day with one chapter or so... but maybe I'm overestimating myself.
anyhoot, here's chapter 1. the parts in normal font are the regular parts of the story. Added parts are in italics.
CHAPTER 1: EVERYTHING THEY LIVED FOR “The Order will never prevail,” the prisoner snapped at her captors as they leered at her from behind the bars, “the avatar will bring Xin Shing to his knees.”
“The avatar,” said one of the more polished guards, “lady, I’d suggest holding your tongue. It might get more people in trouble than you think.”
“Do your worst,” the girl snapped back. Even in her prisoner state, she was still a very good-looking young girl. She was a vibrant young firebender with a long black ponytail and beautiful amber eyes set upon a strong-willed face which she had inherited from her father. And yet her eyes were her mothers, as was her nose. Her clothing had once been fine—she had been from a high class family. Yet even after all the time in prison, she retained her beauty.
“That can be arranged...” said another guard, “bring them in, boys!” he paused, and turned to the prisoner, “you’re gonna regret all of this, Kimi,” he chuckled,
“You can call me Kimiko then,” Kimiko snapped back—after all, only her friends and family were able to call her “Kimi”. To hear it from this foul stranger’s mouth would fuel her fires of infuriation.
“You think so, huh?” the man taunted, “well, let’s break you first. I’m pretty sure that some events that are to follow will alter you.”
“Like I said,” Kimiko snapped, “try your worst.”
These words however, soon became Kimiko’s worst enemy. A Kyoshi warrior came in to disable her—to ensure she would be able to firebend her way to freedom. In this day and age, there was no distinctive tribe or nation that was “good” or “evil”. Everything was a house divided—the Warriors of Kyoshi, the Water Tribes, the Dai Li, the swamp people, the airbenders, and even the ancient Sun Warriors and more.
It was after this that Kimiko was taken and chained to the wall of an arena. There she saw her family brought out. Her parents and her 22-year-old brother Yasu were stood up, and to Kimiko’s horror, she watched them get executed.
“You foul, dirty, wretched, heartless...” but she was silenced with a guard’s hand cupped over her mouth.”
“If you wish to face the might of the order,” he said, “then you can do it the honorable Fire Nation way. You can face me in an Agni Kai.” Kimiko said nothing, but then suddenly snapped out that she accepted. She had nothing else to live for really, now that she had just witnessed her family being murdered in front of her own eyes. She actually hoped to die. The duel commenced, and it did not take long for the man, whose name was Feng, to bring Kimiko down.
“There,” she spat, “you have me defeated. Now kill me.”
Feng actually raised a fireball before he paused. He suddenly caught onto Kimiko’s ploy.
“That’s a clever gambit, Kimi,” he leered, “but that would be too nice. I think I’ll just exile you like that Fire Nation prince of old, and give you a daddy’s mark.”
The next thing Kimiko remembered was screaming in agony and clutching the area around her left eye. She had been severely burned there, and yet the fireball that seared her flesh had not been as large as the one that had scarred Zuko of old. Her eyebrow was still intact, and her eye was still able to be opened as much as her other one. However, Feng had succeeded in breaking her. For the rest of her life, Kimiko would be a very shy woman who was hesitant to say something, as if she feared that she would have to watch her family die a second time if she did.
Granted, the guards at the jail did not make Kimiko and less shy. They’d often “try” to talk to her, and now of course, she wouldn’t respond, both out of fear and hatred. However, none of them minded, particularly not Feng. In fact, he would grin.
“Its fine, Kimi,” he would say, “I knew we’d be able to break you down.”
Kimiko was in this prison for several weeks. Eventually, she hardened herself to the point where she said nothing to anyone without regard. Part of her old self was still in there, and in her anger, she was not about to let them ultimately get the best of her. The only thing that disturbed her of course was the death of her family, but that was to be expected, as she had watched the three closest people to her die in front of her own eyes. However, this also helped fuel her anger so that she wouldn’t lose it completely.
“Speak,” said Feng, after 5 unsuccessful attempts at mocking her had failed, “under penalty of PAIN!”
He blasted Kimiko’s hands and feet with fire, which burned them slightly, and made them sensitive to pain. Kimiko didn’t utter a single word or even a cry. She simply tightened her face and remained motionless.
“That scar of yours, Kimi,” he leered, running his hands along the left side of Kimiko’s face, where the mark was still tender, and still developing into what would be a permanent red scar, “it’s going to be a nice mark of how your family died because of your arrogance.”
Kimiko growled. She knew that her parents and brother were proud of her for not bending to the will of The Order, and smiled upon knowing that she didn’t believe the lies Feng was telling.
Feng wasn’t the only one who taunted Kimiko like this, but he was the worst. Other soldiers, many female even, did the same. Kimiko, chained up, could not do anything to stop them, and, ironically, didn’t put much effort into doing so either. She just bore with things, never letting her enemies get too pleased with what they were doing to her and how they were torturing her. She just pushed along day after day.
However, one night, everything changed. One of the guards was suddenly taken ill, and his shift was taken over by what seemed to be one’s everyday Fire Nation Soldier. This man’s name was Cheng. He was a young private who had just been promoted, and he didn’t mind taking the job, for he had had good combat experience. This was also why he had been moving up so fast. As he was strolling up and down the corridor looking for things to do to bide his time, he heard sniffling from one of the cells. He peered in and saw a young girl on her knees crying. Her wrists were chained to the corners of the cell, and it looked like they kept the girl from falling on her face. Cheng actually thought she was sort of cute. His face however, was hidden behind his helmet. Later on that same evening though, he would learn to be grateful for that.
“What’s the matter,” he asked her, and his tone surprised her. She had been expecting something cruel or mocking, and yet something about this man’s voice gave her comfort.
“It’s your people,” she snapped, despite his kindness, “The Order literally destroyed my life.” Kimiko continued to tell him everything that happened, and by the end, although he could not see her face, he knew she was crying. He went in and gently lifted her face so he could look at hers. When he saw her scar, he knew that this was not the same generic story he had heard from prisoners of war all the time. Suddenly Kimiko felt her wrists drop to the ground.
“What are you doing?” she exclaimed quietly,
“I’m getting you out of here,” he said, taking her hand, “I’ve been watching from the sidelines too long what The Order has been doing. I cannot be a part of any organization this cruel.”
“So it just finally dawned upon you,” Kimiko snapped, but luckily Cheng was the patient type.
“Aye,” he said, “so let’s get you out of here quickly or they’ll have both our necks. You do realize that I don’t have to be doing this you know.”
Cheng hoisted Kimiko over his shoulders and ran. He did, however, get halted by a guard.
“What are you doing with that prisoner,” he naturally asked,
“Admiral Feng wanted her brought to him,” Cheng lied, but luckily, it seemed logical, for unlike Cheng, the guard that had stopped him knew that Feng had a grudge against Kimiko.
“Very well,” the guard replied, “hurry, as Feng is generally not a very patient man. Surely you know that, correct?”
“Aye,” Cheng replied, amazed that his tactic had worked.
Apart from that though, he did not run into any further trouble.
Luckily he was light on his feet, because otherwise he wouldn’t have gotten out. Somehow though, he was able to get her all the way to a small island on which his family had taken refuge. Cheng had joined the military because his family’s loyalty was being questioned by The Order. He might have been on the path to redemption, but his family was not, so they had fled. There was no one safe place in particular, as The Order was something that affected all 4 Nations.
“Cheng,” his mother exclaimed when he appeared in his family’s little cave which they used for refuge, “what are you doing back?”
“I cannot redeem myself or our family by being part of The Order,” he said, “I would rather die than side with them.”
“So,” said his father, “instead you bring home a half-naked girl?” Luckily Kimiko was unconscious from fatigue, and that Cheng still had his helmet on. He set her down gently and removed his helmet.
“half-naked,” he exclaimed, “father, “so what if her shoulders are showing. You can’t even see any stomach.”
“Cheng,” he laughed, “I was just messing around with ya, my boy,” come, come bond with your old father.”
Cheng embraced his parents, and knew that he would have to care for them in their older age. They would normally have been fine at their age, but they had been weakened by this new life and from fear. Cheng glanced briefly at Kimiko. Her clothes were torn at the knee, she was barefoot, and her arms from the shoulder to the elbow were exposed, as well as the tips of her fingers. He noticed her palms and soles were exceptionally red, like they had been burned. Cheng’s mother noticed the scar on the side of her face, which was still dark, is it hadn’t yet formed fully into a scar.
“Goodness,” she exclaimed, “what happened to her face?”
“The Order did that to her,” Cheng replied bluntly, “and she had to witness the death of her family. I saw a girl chained to a wall forced to witness 3 other people die. They looked like her parents and an older brother or something. I left before I saw her taken down, but I can only assume this is the same person. She told me her story, and it matched what I witnessed.”
“So what do you intend to do,” Cheng’s father asked, “You can no longer show your face there.”
“Luckily,” said Cheng, “I don’t need to;” he paused, and picked up the Fire Nation helmet, “this is my reason” he smirked.
“Just be careful, whatever you do,” his mother counseled,
“Of course, mother,” he said, “I always plan these things out very carefully. In fact, as I was coming down into the corridor where this poor girl was imprisoned, I surveyed the place and knew how I could get out in case of an emergency. And then we met...”
“Well,” said Cheng’s father, “that’s all dandy, but like your mother said, do be careful. We’re a bit tired ourselves from hunger, so we’re gonna try and sleep it off if you don’t mind.”
In essence, Cheng’s parents were refugees, and were in hiding until Cheng could find a good way to get them out of where they were right now. Regardless of their less-than-satisfactory situation though, they were content with where they were, as in their older age, they were not a very demanding couple at all.
“Not at all,” Cheng replied,
“And be nice to the girl,” his father added, chuckling, and Cheng laughed at his father’s joke. He had been quite the humorous fellow in his younger years. Cheng just sat there waiting for Kimiko to stir. It was dark and stormy outside, and yet Cheng had used his bending to make a fire for them inside. His mind though, was set—he was now officially against everything that he had been praised for in The Order. It reminded her of that girl beside her who had just lost her family. They both had just lost Everything They Lived For.
~Azula~
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Post by Teᴙa253 on Jul 25, 2009 22:17:01 GMT -7
crap. forgot about this thread. =P
CHAPTER 2: TO JOIN THE AVATAR GUARD It was much later that evening before Kimiko returned to consciousness. By then Cheng’s parents had gone to sleep, and now it was just her and Cheng—even his fire had gone out, and yet there was faint lights from small torches on the walls. The storm outside the cave continued to rage, as if the very forces it contained were going to crush the cave in. Kimiko opened her eyes and only saw blackness. She was facedown, and her face was planted between her arms, as if she were bracing for another blow. She panicked.
“Where am I,” she said, sounding frightened, “why can’t I see anything? I’m blind!” she paused and tried to throw fire from her hand, but the blow from the Kyoshi warrior had been a powerful one, and her chi was not yet unblocked. “Help me someone,” and suddenly her hand was clasped by a strong yet gentle one—it was Cheng.
“You’re okay, Kimiko,” he said kindly, “you blacked out. I got you out of there without a hitch. This cave is where my parents have been hiding.”
“Why can’t I see anything? Am I blind?”
“No Kimi, it’s just dark in here. If we make too much light we might be seen from an airship or something.”
“What sort of airship would fly in this sort of weather?”
“I’m not sure; but these people are fanatics.”
“Demonic; there is nothing good about them.”
“Surely they’re not that bad...”
“They are. They’re evil, and I hate them.”
“That’s a bit harsh, I think. maybe I’ wrong though.”
“Aye,” Kimiko replied, “you are.”
“Don’t remind me about The Order of the Avatar Slayer,”
“The Order of the what,”
“Now I understand why you seemed so new to this whole matter, Cheng”
“Wait,” said Cheng, “how did you know my name?”
“The same way you knew mine. I overheard it.”
“Oh. That’s understandable then. So, are they honestly trying to kill the avatar?”
“Of course they are,” Kimiko replied, “but the Avatar Guard (that’s the name of the group against The Order) has their ways of hiding him. In fact, only a very few people know who the avatar is and where he is. All the world knows is that he’s in the Earth Kingdom. That is also why they set up their main operation somewhere there.”
“You seem to know a lot about the matter,” Cheng commented,
“My whole family did,” Kimiko replied, “and that was part of the reason they and I were taken.”
“What was the rest of the re—oh...?” Cheng stopped, because he noticed that tears were falling down her face. He had almost forgotten that it had been not long before this that she had been forced to witness her family killed in front of her. He decided that dropping the subject was the best idea for now.
“Kimi,” said Cheng, “if you don’t mind, could you tell me what you know about The Order of the Avatar Slayer?”
“Oh,” said Kimiko, “I don’t mind at all. They are foul, wretched, heartless people who care nothing for the world save getting Xin Shing the charge of the world. It all started a few years ago when he first came. His 3 best friends were a master firebender, a master waterbender, and a master earthbender. I assume that he is a master airbender himself, as that would complement the others. However, I have no proof. Anyways, they were able to convince people of all sorts—Water Tribe, Earth Kingdom, Fire Nation, Dai Li, swamp people, sun warriors, Kyoshi warriors, anyone really—to join them, saying that they were going to make a better world. Together they raised an army.
From there, they took over the Fire Nation first. After they slew the Fire Lord and overpowered them, the Fire Lady fled for her own safety. They would have killed her too if they had caught her. I think she joined the Avatar Guard though. I believe Zeruda Mezkiel is her name.
From there, they moved to the Water Tribes and did the same thing. The wife of the chief was actually absent at the time, and after she learned what had happened at the Fire Nation, she met up with Zeruda and the two of them went into hiding. Her name was Tenoko Dragmire. She was a deadly clever woman and was a very popular Water Chief.
Next they went to the Air Nomads. However, they found neither the Head Monk nor the Head Sister. They were aware of the tactics, and they decided to stay out of them. The Order kept them alive because they figured that they would have some use sooner or later.
Last was the Earth Kingdom. Similar to an old Fire Nation plot that had been used over 1200 years ago by a Fire Princess, they took it down from the inside out. They had recruited some of the Dai Li, so it did not take long before the Earth King was dethroned and slain as well.
The Earth Queen was severely wounded and was left for dead. They threw her outside the city hoping she’d just die. However, just like the Air Nomads were aware of The Order’s approach, The Fire Lady and the Water Chief (his wife that is) were trying to get there to warn them. They were obviously late, but they found the Earth Queen outside the city and but then they knew what had happened. However, she told them that that Ba Sing Se (which was where she was of course) was where the avatar was and that they would need to single him or her out. Iresu Fenyk was her name, and together, Iresu, Zeruda, and Tenoko formed a group called thee Secret Service. That is all I know about that group.”
“They sound like a good group,” Cheng replied, “I’d like to know more if you have any more information.”
“I do,” Kimiko replied, “The Secret Service, from what I understand, is a group of those three veterans, who do a lot of scouting for The Avatar Guard. They also have a lot of connections everywhere, so all in all, they’re dangerous people to have against you.
“I’d bet not,” Cheng remarked, “Do their enemies have anything like that?
“Not really,” Kimiko replied, “just the leaders of 3 of the 4 Nations, which ultimately is a huge advantage for a plethora of reasons.”
“How do you know all this?” Cheng asked,
“Because my family was all big-time members of The Avatar Guard,” Kimiko replied, “and once I turned 18 they were gonna let me in as well.”
“Why did they want to wait until you were 18?” Cheng asked,
“Because,” said Kimiko, “they would be doing dangerous things. They would still inform me of what was going on, but the actual doing this was reserved for 18 and up.”
“And I presume you were imprisoned since you were 17 then?”
“I haven’t been 18 for very long; but yes. And then of course, a few days ago, my reasons for hating The Order were revived...”
“Of course; I... I understand.”
“Well, after my remarks condemned my family, I barely spoke to anyone. You though, I seem to feel okay with talking to.”
“So it was something you said that made them kill your family?”
“Aye; I said “do your worst” and they did. That phrase became my enemy.”
“I... I’m sorry. Is there anything I can do for you?”
“well, there’s nothing really that can be done about that,” Kimiko remarked, “but once we can get out and about, you could go with me to join the avatar guard.”
“I will certainly do that. I cannot stand for the atrocities of The Order.”
“Oh, and if you have a change of clothes for me, I’d appreciate that as well. Of course, I understand if you don’t...”
“Well, I do have—well, my mother has—some things she never wears anymore... let me see what I can find.”
Cheng got up and went into one of the back rooms. His parents were still sleeping. They were aged and thin, and yet were able to take care of themselves and did not mind being where they were. Cheng found an old but brilliant red and gold kimono which he figured would fit her well. He came back out and handed it to her.
“Um,” she stammered, taking it from him “thank you.”
“Sorry there’s not really a private room,” he said apologetically, “I’ll just... I’ll just go back into my parent’s room until you are done.”
Kimiko turned away, her cheeks turning a cute shade of pink. A few minutes later, Cheng returned to see that the kimono fit Kimiko perfectly. Her ankles were just barely visible, and Cheng noticed that she still had the guards on her hands.
“I’m sorry I don’t have a pair of shoes for you,” he said,
“No matter,” Kimiko shrugged, lying down, “the fact that you liberated me from prison is enough for me at the moment.”
“Oh,” Cheng exclaimed, “well, I’m glad I could help. I mean, I hope I’ve expressed enough how much I mean it when I say I will have nothing to do with The Order...”
“I’ll take your word for it for now,” said Kimiko, “and we’ll put it to the test once we can get out of here and into where The Avatar Guard is hiding.”
“So you know where they are?” Cheng asked,
“Aye,” Kimiko replied, “and the only reason I just told you that is because either you’re a really good actor, or you really mean it. Normally I don’t talk this much, but you... you’re different. And I mean; I’ve changed since the loss of my family...”
Cheng said nothing at first, but then spoke.
“I understand things must have been rough on you, Kimi,” he said reassuringly, “and you look tired, and I could hear your cries as you were changing. It hurts for you to stand, doesn’t it?”
“Yes,” she confessed, “my hands and feet were burned on a semi-regular basis.” And this was the obvious explanation as to why she was lying on the ground.
“Just go to sleep, Kimi,” said Cheng kindly, “and when you wake up, hopefully the storm will be over and we can go from there.”
“Okay,” Kimiko sighed weakly, but only because of fatigue. She rolled over onto her left side, hiding the scar over her left eye. The ponytail she had once had had since been cut off as part of her exile. Despite the burns, cuts, wounds, and other signs of pain and disgrace, Kimiko retained much of her former beauty. She rolled over again with her back to Cheng, and the scarred part of her face was up. Cheng could not help but feel sympathetic to her, and he therefore swore his allegiance to her and her cause. Her times of trouble were over, and his times of joining the right cause were about to begin. They were both looking forward to the end of the storm, for it would begin their journey as part of the elite force—To Join the Avatar Guard.
~Azula~
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